DELUGE

As I ran here this afternoon I was inundated with transitional thoughts that seemed to blend perfectly with the shifting terrain and landscape. The magnitude of rain that has fallen here on this Volcanic Wonder that is St. John the past 3 days has been spectacular, and as I ran a pairing of sorts occurred. Nature was carving out a path through the ravines and guts that we do not get to witness very often unless one goes out in the torrential downpours. In order for the rains to descend downward towards the Seas they must shift the earth and change its facade. I am feeling something evolve in me the last few months and know that I have big changes on my horizons both at my business and within. As I propelled my self up and down these hills on these roads for 8 miles today in the pouring rain I felt positioned to move in a different direction, just as the water all around me was doing, roaring at times and taking back the roads and trails that belong to her, not us. I had to change paths and footing, be keenly alert to traffic, and slow down some to stay focused and balanced both within and without. Always having to be aware of my surroundings in order to understand that this run today was different on so many levels.

I have been Self  Employed for nearly 35 years now and have already worked more hours than the average American does up to their retirement years and I promised myself something when I turned 50 over 4 years ago, that being I would slow it all down, and I did just that when I turned 50. I am semi-retired and work as little as possible. My business has suffered immensely because of that decision and my follow through on it, while simultaneously carving out a new direction for my life and my approach to it on a daily basis. Some forces are so strong, like tumultuous ravines flowing with rain water and carving out their path, that it is wise to just follow and listen than to fight and resist. Everyday when I run it becomes clearer and clearer what direction I need to take both in my training for foot races and my course in Life. One area is winding down and the other is just beginning. Becoming a stronger, wiser and intuitive endurance athlete is another goal I have set for myself and will begin to push myself harder and into other arenas of training and competing. I will be a better Father for it that is certain. Sharing wisdom as a parent is not always easy or well received but we do it nonetheless in hopes we can help our children along the rocky road of Life. Today being Fathers Day left me to ponder a lot. I am a Father and a Son and being such shows me just how much shifting occurs as time passes and Nature methodically carves its path.

In closing tonight I want to thank my friends and family for accepting me for who I am and the utter changeling that I am. Good Night.  Be Well and Run Free!

RENEWAL

Recomposing our strengths and stamina as runners after we have lapsed is one of the harder aspects of this sport for me. It seems that March gives me the most difficulties, partly due to the busiest time of the year here on St. John, but also due to circumstances at times that are completely out of my control. I ran 5 times this week, my norm, for the first time since the 8 Tuff Miles race on Feb 27th. 5 times a week is my standard and it defines and sets the approval factor in my running. When I stray to less than that I start to question myself as to commitment and resolve. It's the proving ground for me that sets my self defined standard of excellence and approval. It renews me when I have strayed and it sets the course to begin to push myself to the next level. Every runner need structure and a schedule to adhere to in order to stay focused. When we set a benchmark for our own caliber of talent we then begin to achive the desired results and beyond.

I have dealt with 2 serious issues this month thus far, neither specifically running related, but nonetheless troublesome to my running. One involved the well being of my Son and his school and classmates and the other the unexpected death of my Brother. Both pulled hard at me of course and both were powerful enough to propel me off course, a runners nightmare! I ran a 10K last summer where I was heading for a sub 45 minute run, an elusive goal for a 53 year old of my talent, and missed it by 7 seconds because I went physically slightly off course during the run and it cost me the sub 45 minute run. Being pulled from our center usually always results in a compromised outcome. It seems to drain something out of me that at times is difficult to recapture. The renewal, when it does occur is a splendid feeling and is most welcomed. It is at times slow to return, but we must never give up nor can we let it interfere with the fact that we are runners. "I am a runner" and in this simple phrase I define in myself and to the world that nothing will ever come between me and the roads and trails, nothing!  When I am flaying I always know that I will rebound, always, but I am never quite sure when. Life cruelest moments are often right around the corner and they elude no one. They are unbiased and often overwhelming. They can make or break us on many levels and they are at times as unforgiving as Cat 5 hurricane or the heart attack my Brother died of last week. It is paramount to me as a runner to simply run through them and stay the course until the seas subside. Next week I feel confident I will also log 5 days of running, possible even 6, and I will then know I have broken out of my mental funk and the renewal has taken full hold and the course will be set to achieve some personal best racing times this summer and beyond.

Renewal is like water at the oasis in the desert after a long trek or better yet the water at the end of a hard run 10K race where you do not even want to slow or deal with water stops. Renewal restores the Guts that is essential to a runners passion and the fodder that fuels the journey. Renewal is life's redemption and answers the age old question of "Why" and it always gives us the knowledge that "This Too Shall Pass" As I write this I want to go on another run today, perhaps at sunset, even though I ran this morning. This feeling is what makes me know that these temporary setbacks are just that, and Life in it's infinite beauty and cruelty will test anyone's resolve and make us stronger as we carry the experiences and pass them along to our children. It is my greatest hope that I can pass some knowledge onto my children to make their lives and the lives of others a little better. It is a work in progress of course and the renewal always helps me along the way. Thanx and Be Well.

BELIEF

They are as varied as the different bodies that roam our planet. They consume some and kill others. They define us in a global culture that seeks norms over distinct and unorthodox forms of thinking. They label us and place us in little boxes so we can be categorized and dissected by those who disagree with the way we choose to live. The masses follow the almighty corporations that have poisoned our food supply and perpetuated the biggest hoax society has ever fallen for, that being our utter dependence on pharmaceutical drugs to stay alive. Out of sight out of mind. The vanity factor plays so heavily here. If we could see what these foods and drugs do to out internal organs we would never induce them into out bodies. Being obsessed with vanity and how we are perceived greatly outweighs anything happening internally to what some deem "The temple to our soul". The signs of a failed approach to well being are everywhere. Just go to Wallmart and McDonalds and I rest my case. Our children are developing adult diseases at alarmingly younger ages and the adults wait for Big Pharma to create the next magic pill. Cause and effect is a simple science and ANY pharmaceutical you put into your body plays heavily on your overall balance and in a lot of cases does far more harm than good in the long run.

What does this have to do with running you might ask? Well this is my blog so I will ramble at will as I please and see fit, but beyond that everything. Running is capable of producing a dramatic change in one's approach and thinking and since it is initially a health related reason most people begin to run, they begin to see through the ever so subtle veil of corporate brainwashing and programing. Runners begin to change all forms of habits that have accompanied them in becoming clones in the supermarket lines and the prescription centers that are now everywhere. They obtain clarity as they run. There is a sound and systematic reason why there is a Wallgreens, a McDonalds and a Wallmart in virtually every sector of American society. Running slowly starts to improve  physical health while simultaneously unlocking basic human instincts that have been overshadowed by a lifetime onslaught of corporate programing. We ALL drink the cool aid when we sit in front of Television whether we agree with the product or not. When children are exposed to all this it then becomes literally life threatening. I challenge anyone to begin running and then tell me they do not start to make drastic changes to other aspects of their lives. The Magic pill is in the form of a belief system, one simply known as running. The side effects are many and the results so dramatic that the runner begins to peel the onion and understand that in this simplest form of human propulsion lies the answers to a lot of dilemmas that often plague our bodies and our Psyche.

My Brothers Belief was that of a Buddhist. He passed away last week and as I am sorting through his personal belongings and the garbage in my own mind that comes up in times like these I am reminded of how different we all are if we choose to be our own person. He touched many lives with the simplicity and kindness that he evoked in his day to day living, and that was his legacy. We were very different in many ways, but in some identical and that is what brothers ofttimes are. There are many reasons for his passing but in the long run he lived life his way. His process is now complete for this world according to what he believed. A sound belief goes a long way for many and in his case that rings true.

Running is a belief system in itself. A system that motivates and encourages people to go beyond what they thought they could ever do. I need to peel another layer so off I go into the Florida morning to see what comes my way as I run. I know one thing for certain . "I am a Runner"   Thanx and Be Well

A Tradgic Run

Running never quite offers up the same ambiance. So many factors at play to adjust the desired result. Better we just flow along and see where it takes us than be disappointed when the result strays from our expectation.

One never knows when it strikes, at times as foreign to us as a Summers day on Lakeshore Drive in January. A run such as this is etched into our hearts as we feel the pain of another and wonder what order, if any, life's random assaults have. Moving one's body briskly along these hills when consumed with the grief of another, and one's own, is trying and troublesome, and offers up the excuse to slow down or simply quit. Tragedy slowly creeps like the ever prevalent misfortune that begot a family member of mine over the New Years weekend.

The overwhelming feeling and urge to stop the run is all encompassing and must be dealt with in the same manner as the grief facing my loved one. To continue on is the only logical option, but so shrouded is that line of reasoning it calls into question ones resolve. So we are tested. We are dealt a hand that can go either way. If the choice seems so simple then why do we struggle so? Simply said, we are mere flesh and bone, not the great warriors our ego leads us to believe. We must dig so deep within ourselves to convene our vigor that we seem to drain the very force we are relying on right out of us. And at that moment when we want to give up completely, when we feel we can not run another stride, not take another breath, not bear the burden of yet another one of life's insidious jokes, it is in that instant that we often see clarity and find the strength to continue on. Tragedy will call into question ones frivolous life. It will show you who you really are and what you are truly made of. So the legs keep moving and the arms continue pumping and the heart and lungs persist in striving and the will to sustain is carried on.

Trials and tribulations are often the cornerstones of great progress. We must not let anything slow us to the pace of submission. Great runners know this and use it to make themselves stronger. We are only as good as we allow ourselves to be. We simply must never stop!