TRYING

It's local race time again, the moment that rolls around once a year and starts to consume you. The nervousness and excitement blend and a feeling overcomes you that reaches further at times than you may like. We have control over many aspects of our lives, but other facets find us whether we are looking or open to them or not. Running this morning was no different in that respect. This will be my 5th consecutive 8 Tuff Miles Road Race on this Volcanic Wonder of St. John and the hills I traverse daily remind me of the splendor and sacrifice we all make to live here. Island life is the great trade off, for the better for most of course, but at times can most certainty be trying.

So what is so trying or better yet what are we trying to do. I am trying to stay in the top 3 in my age group like I have the last 3 years while simultaneously trying to stay focused on a plant based lifestyle. I have immense passion for both, passion being the cornerstone of success no doubt in all we do, and must work very hard to make both a reality. You see as a runner I am slowing down, for whatever reason... and there may be many, and it bothers me. Who wants to run slower races? Not many of us I can assure you of that. As a plant based eater It is troublesome at times to stay focused here as our food choices are 1/100th of what is available in the states, again the great trade off. I breath fresh air and swim in crystal clear warm tropical waters year round and I run through a national park that rivals any around the world, hands down! A running friend once said "You high Five Easter Rock, right?".   Well I have every time since  hearing that. Easter Rock is this amazing Rock that is 30 ft. high perched along the North shore Road and a stomping ground for my runs. There are times when I am running North Shore that I simply can not believe where I live and how utterly perfect Nature is. The flawed human cascading along the hills while observing the perfection in the grander scheme of life. The human mind soaring and opening and realizing that his species will most likely not survive due to out of control corporate and political systems that have become the status quo and have over taken the thinking and beliefs systems of the last few generations to the point that the insanity of how we really live becomes socially acceptable to the point of utter absurdity. Easter Rock always reminds me of this and keeps me grounded. I am guilty as charged, I drive a car and use products that pull resources from the earth that could be better served in other ways or simply left in the earth to begin with. I struggle with the modern day human lifestyle and run to put it in perspective and obtain clarity and understanding at this juncture of my life. Running for health and fitness have long become second fiddle to why I go out on the roads and trails as often as I do. What small and subtle changes can I make to do my part in shifting my thinking and ultimately my impact on the planet. Am I really who I truly want to be?  Kid Rock said "Only God Knows Why" but my "God" is nature itself. I owe her ALL that I am as she withers due to our selfishness so too  do I, as I lose my muse and the strengths upon which I draw.

The race this Saturday will be uncertain for me until I cross the finish line and upon doing so I will have accomplished something extraordinary in the sense of achievement. You can call it a mid-life crisis or just plain old reality setting in, but when I started running and racing in the 50th year of my life I had no idea how powerful it would be for me and provide the meditative time to reflect on life itself while the endorphins and blood pumps wildly through my body. In that altered state lies the answers to what I seek and come Saturday I promise you and myself that I will be leaving 5 plus pounds of sweat on the tarmac and I will run a "Pure Guts" race and if anyone is going to beat me, and there will be many, they will also have to leave their sweat and guts out on the road too. Saturday is not a spiritual training run, It is the 8 Tuff Miles, it was my very first road race at 50 years of age and the one the turned me into a "Runner" and morphed me into a competitive racer in the months that followed. So when you see me on the roads on my daily runs please note that even though I am a Godless Atheist, I am communing with what I know to be my source of energy and power, this Earth itself, and that in the end, we all have a choice to make as where our own version of God, religion or faith will leads us. Me, I am just a "Runner" and I always seem to be led to the North Shore. Be Well and Run Free.