Recomposing our strengths and stamina as runners after we have lapsed is one of the harder aspects of this sport for me. It seems that March gives me the most difficulties, partly due to the busiest time of the year here on St. John, but also due to circumstances at times that are completely out of my control. I ran 5 times this week, my norm, for the first time since the 8 Tuff Miles race on Feb 27th. 5 times a week is my standard and it defines and sets the approval factor in my running. When I stray to less than that I start to question myself as to commitment and resolve. It's the proving ground for me that sets my self defined standard of excellence and approval. It renews me when I have strayed and it sets the course to begin to push myself to the next level. Every runner need structure and a schedule to adhere to in order to stay focused. When we set a benchmark for our own caliber of talent we then begin to achive the desired results and beyond.
I have dealt with 2 serious issues this month thus far, neither specifically running related, but nonetheless troublesome to my running. One involved the well being of my Son and his school and classmates and the other the unexpected death of my Brother. Both pulled hard at me of course and both were powerful enough to propel me off course, a runners nightmare! I ran a 10K last summer where I was heading for a sub 45 minute run, an elusive goal for a 53 year old of my talent, and missed it by 7 seconds because I went physically slightly off course during the run and it cost me the sub 45 minute run. Being pulled from our center usually always results in a compromised outcome. It seems to drain something out of me that at times is difficult to recapture. The renewal, when it does occur is a splendid feeling and is most welcomed. It is at times slow to return, but we must never give up nor can we let it interfere with the fact that we are runners. "I am a runner" and in this simple phrase I define in myself and to the world that nothing will ever come between me and the roads and trails, nothing! When I am flaying I always know that I will rebound, always, but I am never quite sure when. Life cruelest moments are often right around the corner and they elude no one. They are unbiased and often overwhelming. They can make or break us on many levels and they are at times as unforgiving as Cat 5 hurricane or the heart attack my Brother died of last week. It is paramount to me as a runner to simply run through them and stay the course until the seas subside. Next week I feel confident I will also log 5 days of running, possible even 6, and I will then know I have broken out of my mental funk and the renewal has taken full hold and the course will be set to achieve some personal best racing times this summer and beyond.
Renewal is like water at the oasis in the desert after a long trek or better yet the water at the end of a hard run 10K race where you do not even want to slow or deal with water stops. Renewal restores the Guts that is essential to a runners passion and the fodder that fuels the journey. Renewal is life's redemption and answers the age old question of "Why" and it always gives us the knowledge that "This Too Shall Pass" As I write this I want to go on another run today, perhaps at sunset, even though I ran this morning. This feeling is what makes me know that these temporary setbacks are just that, and Life in it's infinite beauty and cruelty will test anyone's resolve and make us stronger as we carry the experiences and pass them along to our children. It is my greatest hope that I can pass some knowledge onto my children to make their lives and the lives of others a little better. It is a work in progress of course and the renewal always helps me along the way. Thanx and Be Well.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
BELIEF
They are as varied as the different bodies that roam our planet. They consume some and kill others. They define us in a global culture that seeks norms over distinct and unorthodox forms of thinking. They label us and place us in little boxes so we can be categorized and dissected by those who disagree with the way we choose to live. The masses follow the almighty corporations that have poisoned our food supply and perpetuated the biggest hoax society has ever fallen for, that being our utter dependence on pharmaceutical drugs to stay alive. Out of sight out of mind. The vanity factor plays so heavily here. If we could see what these foods and drugs do to out internal organs we would never induce them into out bodies. Being obsessed with vanity and how we are perceived greatly outweighs anything happening internally to what some deem "The temple to our soul". The signs of a failed approach to well being are everywhere. Just go to Wallmart and McDonalds and I rest my case. Our children are developing adult diseases at alarmingly younger ages and the adults wait for Big Pharma to create the next magic pill. Cause and effect is a simple science and ANY pharmaceutical you put into your body plays heavily on your overall balance and in a lot of cases does far more harm than good in the long run.
What does this have to do with running you might ask? Well this is my blog so I will ramble at will as I please and see fit, but beyond that everything. Running is capable of producing a dramatic change in one's approach and thinking and since it is initially a health related reason most people begin to run, they begin to see through the ever so subtle veil of corporate brainwashing and programing. Runners begin to change all forms of habits that have accompanied them in becoming clones in the supermarket lines and the prescription centers that are now everywhere. They obtain clarity as they run. There is a sound and systematic reason why there is a Wallgreens, a McDonalds and a Wallmart in virtually every sector of American society. Running slowly starts to improve physical health while simultaneously unlocking basic human instincts that have been overshadowed by a lifetime onslaught of corporate programing. We ALL drink the cool aid when we sit in front of Television whether we agree with the product or not. When children are exposed to all this it then becomes literally life threatening. I challenge anyone to begin running and then tell me they do not start to make drastic changes to other aspects of their lives. The Magic pill is in the form of a belief system, one simply known as running. The side effects are many and the results so dramatic that the runner begins to peel the onion and understand that in this simplest form of human propulsion lies the answers to a lot of dilemmas that often plague our bodies and our Psyche.
My Brothers Belief was that of a Buddhist. He passed away last week and as I am sorting through his personal belongings and the garbage in my own mind that comes up in times like these I am reminded of how different we all are if we choose to be our own person. He touched many lives with the simplicity and kindness that he evoked in his day to day living, and that was his legacy. We were very different in many ways, but in some identical and that is what brothers ofttimes are. There are many reasons for his passing but in the long run he lived life his way. His process is now complete for this world according to what he believed. A sound belief goes a long way for many and in his case that rings true.
Running is a belief system in itself. A system that motivates and encourages people to go beyond what they thought they could ever do. I need to peel another layer so off I go into the Florida morning to see what comes my way as I run. I know one thing for certain . "I am a Runner" Thanx and Be Well
What does this have to do with running you might ask? Well this is my blog so I will ramble at will as I please and see fit, but beyond that everything. Running is capable of producing a dramatic change in one's approach and thinking and since it is initially a health related reason most people begin to run, they begin to see through the ever so subtle veil of corporate brainwashing and programing. Runners begin to change all forms of habits that have accompanied them in becoming clones in the supermarket lines and the prescription centers that are now everywhere. They obtain clarity as they run. There is a sound and systematic reason why there is a Wallgreens, a McDonalds and a Wallmart in virtually every sector of American society. Running slowly starts to improve physical health while simultaneously unlocking basic human instincts that have been overshadowed by a lifetime onslaught of corporate programing. We ALL drink the cool aid when we sit in front of Television whether we agree with the product or not. When children are exposed to all this it then becomes literally life threatening. I challenge anyone to begin running and then tell me they do not start to make drastic changes to other aspects of their lives. The Magic pill is in the form of a belief system, one simply known as running. The side effects are many and the results so dramatic that the runner begins to peel the onion and understand that in this simplest form of human propulsion lies the answers to a lot of dilemmas that often plague our bodies and our Psyche.
My Brothers Belief was that of a Buddhist. He passed away last week and as I am sorting through his personal belongings and the garbage in my own mind that comes up in times like these I am reminded of how different we all are if we choose to be our own person. He touched many lives with the simplicity and kindness that he evoked in his day to day living, and that was his legacy. We were very different in many ways, but in some identical and that is what brothers ofttimes are. There are many reasons for his passing but in the long run he lived life his way. His process is now complete for this world according to what he believed. A sound belief goes a long way for many and in his case that rings true.
Running is a belief system in itself. A system that motivates and encourages people to go beyond what they thought they could ever do. I need to peel another layer so off I go into the Florida morning to see what comes my way as I run. I know one thing for certain . "I am a Runner" Thanx and Be Well
Sunday, March 14, 2010
WILL
What is it that wills us to get up and put on the running shoes? The answers would have me addressing the subject much longer than I choose or you may want to read. Inner will expressed outwardly drives runners to do what most people believe they can not or "Will" not do. It propels them forward into the realm that they seek while they run. I know for a fact it is inside everyone of us, the tenacity that is capable of producing change and ofttimes well being. I should be running right now instead of writting this, but my will as of late has been tested. So I must write my way through it and then the run will occur.
I have been tested heavily 2 times this month alone and my will has been questioned by me and others. My 8 year old son told me something extremely disturbing about another student and what that student said to him. It kicked off a series of events that had me literally sick to my stomach and at times in tears. Deciding a course to do my daily North Shore runs on is in no way different than what I chose to do in this matter. It is of the essence that I run, no denying that, and it is of the utmost essence that I support and protect my Son. No sooner than a resolution was reached by his school, one that left no winners I must add, I was informed, the very same day, that my Brother had died rather unexpectedly. It is the worst kind of phone call to ever have to receive. It is one you cannot simply run from but must run directly into. What happens when we will something to not be, that simply cannot be reversed, is that we spin out of control. Death is the denier for many. We seem to be ill prepared for it as a society and often push the subject under the rug. My poor 8 year old, after all that his bravery put him through when he came forward with disclosure of what he heard, having then to be told his Uncle was gone, was too much too soon. Life's cruel moments occur no matter how insidious they may be. A family member gone, students and teachers gone, and my will to run taken from me.
One thing I have learned about running is that when you feel you cannot or will not be able to run for reasons other than a physical injury, it is at that very moment that you need the run the most. Running while physically injured occurs all the time, runners at times are not smart beings, and we set ourselves up to fail further down the road, but running through the mental baggage is of the utmost essence. Heading right into your obstacles always makes you stronger and restores a sense of balance, even if it be a temporary one until the next run occurs. I do not profess to know the exact science of just why this is but it is. I recall an old Bob Dylan song with the lyrics "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the winds blows" I just know as does any other runner reading this. The roads and trails offer solace to the weary and answers to the seekers. They offer guidance and structure and frame our lives with a routine that produces a canvas of our choosing and a clarity that helps us wind our way through life's more trying moments and helps us to enjoy the simpler more pleasurable ones.
My Brother most likely did not leave a Will and that will make the process of his estate a bit more complicated, but he was a "Simple Man" without a lot of worldly possessions, so a little time and patience will work it all out. I am going to the states to pack up his apartment and "Will" remind myself that life chooses certain situations and I am just a cog, one that will be running through it all. It is about 4 pm and by 5 pm I will have my running shoes on and be heading up the North Shore. If you see me tonight running or any other day for that matter, please know that as I run I am at times in a state of devotion, not unlike others flocking to churches and religions or the medicine cabinet for "Mothers Little Helpers". I have found my drug and it is available to me for free wherever I roam. Thanx and Be Well
I have been tested heavily 2 times this month alone and my will has been questioned by me and others. My 8 year old son told me something extremely disturbing about another student and what that student said to him. It kicked off a series of events that had me literally sick to my stomach and at times in tears. Deciding a course to do my daily North Shore runs on is in no way different than what I chose to do in this matter. It is of the essence that I run, no denying that, and it is of the utmost essence that I support and protect my Son. No sooner than a resolution was reached by his school, one that left no winners I must add, I was informed, the very same day, that my Brother had died rather unexpectedly. It is the worst kind of phone call to ever have to receive. It is one you cannot simply run from but must run directly into. What happens when we will something to not be, that simply cannot be reversed, is that we spin out of control. Death is the denier for many. We seem to be ill prepared for it as a society and often push the subject under the rug. My poor 8 year old, after all that his bravery put him through when he came forward with disclosure of what he heard, having then to be told his Uncle was gone, was too much too soon. Life's cruel moments occur no matter how insidious they may be. A family member gone, students and teachers gone, and my will to run taken from me.
One thing I have learned about running is that when you feel you cannot or will not be able to run for reasons other than a physical injury, it is at that very moment that you need the run the most. Running while physically injured occurs all the time, runners at times are not smart beings, and we set ourselves up to fail further down the road, but running through the mental baggage is of the utmost essence. Heading right into your obstacles always makes you stronger and restores a sense of balance, even if it be a temporary one until the next run occurs. I do not profess to know the exact science of just why this is but it is. I recall an old Bob Dylan song with the lyrics "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the winds blows" I just know as does any other runner reading this. The roads and trails offer solace to the weary and answers to the seekers. They offer guidance and structure and frame our lives with a routine that produces a canvas of our choosing and a clarity that helps us wind our way through life's more trying moments and helps us to enjoy the simpler more pleasurable ones.
My Brother most likely did not leave a Will and that will make the process of his estate a bit more complicated, but he was a "Simple Man" without a lot of worldly possessions, so a little time and patience will work it all out. I am going to the states to pack up his apartment and "Will" remind myself that life chooses certain situations and I am just a cog, one that will be running through it all. It is about 4 pm and by 5 pm I will have my running shoes on and be heading up the North Shore. If you see me tonight running or any other day for that matter, please know that as I run I am at times in a state of devotion, not unlike others flocking to churches and religions or the medicine cabinet for "Mothers Little Helpers". I have found my drug and it is available to me for free wherever I roam. Thanx and Be Well
Thursday, March 4, 2010
RESOLUTION
How do we rectify our ongoing inadequacies in ourselves and society at large? How much time do we dwell or ponder before we simply overwhelm ourselves and drain the exact energy we are trying to protect and conserve? How far does a runner push themselves before it begins to have an adverse affect on their performance and race times? Sounds a bit like "Who am I and why are we here" doesn't it?
Conflict resolution is a subject dear to me. I often wonder what is the right course of action to take in a given situation. How far to push the envelope or raise the bar and what approach will produce the desired results. When I run I am always thinking about the proper amount of miles or strides or pace to accomplice the desired result from that days workout. When I am confronted with a social issue or a situation with a family member or offspring I am doubly convicted to obtain the right course of action. My upbringing is always in constant battle with what is suitable now. It is a tug of war inside me and it pulls me into darkness and it is hard at times to make a rational decision when I am compelled to take the path of my "Familia".
It is often said there are many paths to the top of the mountain and the path of least resistance is the wiser choice, but I also know there are times when I simply can not and will not take that course. I can run the flats and more easily traversed roads and trails, but I opt for the brutal North Shore runs and volcanic trails that sometimes elevate 700 ft. in the first mile. There is a part of me that will not take the easy road simply because of sheer brute stubbornness. I also have been reared as a child in a very old school system of conflict resolution that simply relays on force and violence to obtain a goal. It is a cycle I am trying to break in the rearing of my son. I have never hit him and do not, under any circumstances use corporal punishment as a means of discipline and expect the same in anybody I entrust to be his care givers or educators. Breaking destructive cycles in my estimation is the only way we can evolve as a species and garner a better world for our children and beyond. I have broke the cycle of sloth in my running and visits to the gym and am trying to deal with certain situations in life differently than I was taught as a child from my family, either directly or by example.
Many of you will disagree with me on my next series of thoughts here. I have embraced a very counter cultural approach to life, starting in the late 60's, 1968 to be exact, and have basically lived my life with these principles, straying immensely at times, but inherently understanding that this path is mine and the status quo is theirs. "War" in my estimation is the result of total and utter ignorance, complicated by our obsession of having to be better than everyone else. Yes, the hypocritical runner speaks as he guts it out to place as high as he can in the standings whenever I race and settle for nothing less that my best least I beat myself up afterwords for slacking. I am very far from a perfect citizen, and border on what the status quo would define as treasonous. How can we ever teach our children to use peaceful conflict resolutions when we are obsessed as a country and society on being number one? Patriotism and Nationalism are the death of any free thinking society. The glorification of War and our superiority complex as a society clearly sends the wrong message to our youth and it is backed by our government and the corporations that control it. Telling a child not to be violent when we bomb countries for not playing by "OUR" rules is the spiritual equivalent of genocide. It is not possible to advance a peaceful agenda when we use violence to obtain it. Guns permeate our culture and have slowly crept into our school systems and as students are taught to strike another to resolve a conflict, be it by cultural war mentality or the ever present use of Corporal Punishment in our school systems, we lose the ability to foster good will in our children and the cycle of war and violence continues. The 2nd. Amendment will never be addressed or stricken as this country is run by corporations and not the people, and until the day that guns are banned once and for all we will never know peace nor will our children learn to respect the rights of ALL other beliefs and ways of life. Being the worlds' police department comes with a very heavy toll and price to pay. That price being the decay of our most precious resource, that of our children. I live in what is deemed a "Paradise". As beautiful as it may be here, the fact remains that we have a 47% failure rate in males going into the 10th grade. 47% will not go beyond the 9th grade here at out local public school. That is in itself a direct result of a war mentality government and a local public school system that uses Corporal Punishment as conflict resolution on our children. When that same kid comes back to school or the playground or a party or a sporting event or wherever with a gun, you can be rest assured he learned that violence solves his problems from his educators and the government itself. "Paradise" has a very dark side and as these kids filter into society and have kids of their own the cycle starts all over again.
Resolution can only be obtained when we begin to realize that the current system of global dominance and staunch patriotism is not working and is morally reprehensible. We have robbed our youth of too much for far to long and time is running out. As a runner time is of the utmost importance to me so in closing I will say to you, find a destructive cycle in yourself and in this lifetime promise wholeheartedly to break it. When I race and run it is literally one stride at a time in the completion of my journey. Thanx and Be Well.
Conflict resolution is a subject dear to me. I often wonder what is the right course of action to take in a given situation. How far to push the envelope or raise the bar and what approach will produce the desired results. When I run I am always thinking about the proper amount of miles or strides or pace to accomplice the desired result from that days workout. When I am confronted with a social issue or a situation with a family member or offspring I am doubly convicted to obtain the right course of action. My upbringing is always in constant battle with what is suitable now. It is a tug of war inside me and it pulls me into darkness and it is hard at times to make a rational decision when I am compelled to take the path of my "Familia".
It is often said there are many paths to the top of the mountain and the path of least resistance is the wiser choice, but I also know there are times when I simply can not and will not take that course. I can run the flats and more easily traversed roads and trails, but I opt for the brutal North Shore runs and volcanic trails that sometimes elevate 700 ft. in the first mile. There is a part of me that will not take the easy road simply because of sheer brute stubbornness. I also have been reared as a child in a very old school system of conflict resolution that simply relays on force and violence to obtain a goal. It is a cycle I am trying to break in the rearing of my son. I have never hit him and do not, under any circumstances use corporal punishment as a means of discipline and expect the same in anybody I entrust to be his care givers or educators. Breaking destructive cycles in my estimation is the only way we can evolve as a species and garner a better world for our children and beyond. I have broke the cycle of sloth in my running and visits to the gym and am trying to deal with certain situations in life differently than I was taught as a child from my family, either directly or by example.
Many of you will disagree with me on my next series of thoughts here. I have embraced a very counter cultural approach to life, starting in the late 60's, 1968 to be exact, and have basically lived my life with these principles, straying immensely at times, but inherently understanding that this path is mine and the status quo is theirs. "War" in my estimation is the result of total and utter ignorance, complicated by our obsession of having to be better than everyone else. Yes, the hypocritical runner speaks as he guts it out to place as high as he can in the standings whenever I race and settle for nothing less that my best least I beat myself up afterwords for slacking. I am very far from a perfect citizen, and border on what the status quo would define as treasonous. How can we ever teach our children to use peaceful conflict resolutions when we are obsessed as a country and society on being number one? Patriotism and Nationalism are the death of any free thinking society. The glorification of War and our superiority complex as a society clearly sends the wrong message to our youth and it is backed by our government and the corporations that control it. Telling a child not to be violent when we bomb countries for not playing by "OUR" rules is the spiritual equivalent of genocide. It is not possible to advance a peaceful agenda when we use violence to obtain it. Guns permeate our culture and have slowly crept into our school systems and as students are taught to strike another to resolve a conflict, be it by cultural war mentality or the ever present use of Corporal Punishment in our school systems, we lose the ability to foster good will in our children and the cycle of war and violence continues. The 2nd. Amendment will never be addressed or stricken as this country is run by corporations and not the people, and until the day that guns are banned once and for all we will never know peace nor will our children learn to respect the rights of ALL other beliefs and ways of life. Being the worlds' police department comes with a very heavy toll and price to pay. That price being the decay of our most precious resource, that of our children. I live in what is deemed a "Paradise". As beautiful as it may be here, the fact remains that we have a 47% failure rate in males going into the 10th grade. 47% will not go beyond the 9th grade here at out local public school. That is in itself a direct result of a war mentality government and a local public school system that uses Corporal Punishment as conflict resolution on our children. When that same kid comes back to school or the playground or a party or a sporting event or wherever with a gun, you can be rest assured he learned that violence solves his problems from his educators and the government itself. "Paradise" has a very dark side and as these kids filter into society and have kids of their own the cycle starts all over again.
Resolution can only be obtained when we begin to realize that the current system of global dominance and staunch patriotism is not working and is morally reprehensible. We have robbed our youth of too much for far to long and time is running out. As a runner time is of the utmost importance to me so in closing I will say to you, find a destructive cycle in yourself and in this lifetime promise wholeheartedly to break it. When I race and run it is literally one stride at a time in the completion of my journey. Thanx and Be Well.
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