RENEWAL

Recomposing our strengths and stamina as runners after we have lapsed is one of the harder aspects of this sport for me. It seems that March gives me the most difficulties, partly due to the busiest time of the year here on St. John, but also due to circumstances at times that are completely out of my control. I ran 5 times this week, my norm, for the first time since the 8 Tuff Miles race on Feb 27th. 5 times a week is my standard and it defines and sets the approval factor in my running. When I stray to less than that I start to question myself as to commitment and resolve. It's the proving ground for me that sets my self defined standard of excellence and approval. It renews me when I have strayed and it sets the course to begin to push myself to the next level. Every runner need structure and a schedule to adhere to in order to stay focused. When we set a benchmark for our own caliber of talent we then begin to achive the desired results and beyond.

I have dealt with 2 serious issues this month thus far, neither specifically running related, but nonetheless troublesome to my running. One involved the well being of my Son and his school and classmates and the other the unexpected death of my Brother. Both pulled hard at me of course and both were powerful enough to propel me off course, a runners nightmare! I ran a 10K last summer where I was heading for a sub 45 minute run, an elusive goal for a 53 year old of my talent, and missed it by 7 seconds because I went physically slightly off course during the run and it cost me the sub 45 minute run. Being pulled from our center usually always results in a compromised outcome. It seems to drain something out of me that at times is difficult to recapture. The renewal, when it does occur is a splendid feeling and is most welcomed. It is at times slow to return, but we must never give up nor can we let it interfere with the fact that we are runners. "I am a runner" and in this simple phrase I define in myself and to the world that nothing will ever come between me and the roads and trails, nothing!  When I am flaying I always know that I will rebound, always, but I am never quite sure when. Life cruelest moments are often right around the corner and they elude no one. They are unbiased and often overwhelming. They can make or break us on many levels and they are at times as unforgiving as Cat 5 hurricane or the heart attack my Brother died of last week. It is paramount to me as a runner to simply run through them and stay the course until the seas subside. Next week I feel confident I will also log 5 days of running, possible even 6, and I will then know I have broken out of my mental funk and the renewal has taken full hold and the course will be set to achieve some personal best racing times this summer and beyond.

Renewal is like water at the oasis in the desert after a long trek or better yet the water at the end of a hard run 10K race where you do not even want to slow or deal with water stops. Renewal restores the Guts that is essential to a runners passion and the fodder that fuels the journey. Renewal is life's redemption and answers the age old question of "Why" and it always gives us the knowledge that "This Too Shall Pass" As I write this I want to go on another run today, perhaps at sunset, even though I ran this morning. This feeling is what makes me know that these temporary setbacks are just that, and Life in it's infinite beauty and cruelty will test anyone's resolve and make us stronger as we carry the experiences and pass them along to our children. It is my greatest hope that I can pass some knowledge onto my children to make their lives and the lives of others a little better. It is a work in progress of course and the renewal always helps me along the way. Thanx and Be Well.

A Tradgic Run

Running never quite offers up the same ambiance. So many factors at play to adjust the desired result. Better we just flow along and see where it takes us than be disappointed when the result strays from our expectation.

One never knows when it strikes, at times as foreign to us as a Summers day on Lakeshore Drive in January. A run such as this is etched into our hearts as we feel the pain of another and wonder what order, if any, life's random assaults have. Moving one's body briskly along these hills when consumed with the grief of another, and one's own, is trying and troublesome, and offers up the excuse to slow down or simply quit. Tragedy slowly creeps like the ever prevalent misfortune that begot a family member of mine over the New Years weekend.

The overwhelming feeling and urge to stop the run is all encompassing and must be dealt with in the same manner as the grief facing my loved one. To continue on is the only logical option, but so shrouded is that line of reasoning it calls into question ones resolve. So we are tested. We are dealt a hand that can go either way. If the choice seems so simple then why do we struggle so? Simply said, we are mere flesh and bone, not the great warriors our ego leads us to believe. We must dig so deep within ourselves to convene our vigor that we seem to drain the very force we are relying on right out of us. And at that moment when we want to give up completely, when we feel we can not run another stride, not take another breath, not bear the burden of yet another one of life's insidious jokes, it is in that instant that we often see clarity and find the strength to continue on. Tragedy will call into question ones frivolous life. It will show you who you really are and what you are truly made of. So the legs keep moving and the arms continue pumping and the heart and lungs persist in striving and the will to sustain is carried on.

Trials and tribulations are often the cornerstones of great progress. We must not let anything slow us to the pace of submission. Great runners know this and use it to make themselves stronger. We are only as good as we allow ourselves to be. We simply must never stop!