RENEWAL

Recomposing our strengths and stamina as runners after we have lapsed is one of the harder aspects of this sport for me. It seems that March gives me the most difficulties, partly due to the busiest time of the year here on St. John, but also due to circumstances at times that are completely out of my control. I ran 5 times this week, my norm, for the first time since the 8 Tuff Miles race on Feb 27th. 5 times a week is my standard and it defines and sets the approval factor in my running. When I stray to less than that I start to question myself as to commitment and resolve. It's the proving ground for me that sets my self defined standard of excellence and approval. It renews me when I have strayed and it sets the course to begin to push myself to the next level. Every runner need structure and a schedule to adhere to in order to stay focused. When we set a benchmark for our own caliber of talent we then begin to achive the desired results and beyond.

I have dealt with 2 serious issues this month thus far, neither specifically running related, but nonetheless troublesome to my running. One involved the well being of my Son and his school and classmates and the other the unexpected death of my Brother. Both pulled hard at me of course and both were powerful enough to propel me off course, a runners nightmare! I ran a 10K last summer where I was heading for a sub 45 minute run, an elusive goal for a 53 year old of my talent, and missed it by 7 seconds because I went physically slightly off course during the run and it cost me the sub 45 minute run. Being pulled from our center usually always results in a compromised outcome. It seems to drain something out of me that at times is difficult to recapture. The renewal, when it does occur is a splendid feeling and is most welcomed. It is at times slow to return, but we must never give up nor can we let it interfere with the fact that we are runners. "I am a runner" and in this simple phrase I define in myself and to the world that nothing will ever come between me and the roads and trails, nothing!  When I am flaying I always know that I will rebound, always, but I am never quite sure when. Life cruelest moments are often right around the corner and they elude no one. They are unbiased and often overwhelming. They can make or break us on many levels and they are at times as unforgiving as Cat 5 hurricane or the heart attack my Brother died of last week. It is paramount to me as a runner to simply run through them and stay the course until the seas subside. Next week I feel confident I will also log 5 days of running, possible even 6, and I will then know I have broken out of my mental funk and the renewal has taken full hold and the course will be set to achieve some personal best racing times this summer and beyond.

Renewal is like water at the oasis in the desert after a long trek or better yet the water at the end of a hard run 10K race where you do not even want to slow or deal with water stops. Renewal restores the Guts that is essential to a runners passion and the fodder that fuels the journey. Renewal is life's redemption and answers the age old question of "Why" and it always gives us the knowledge that "This Too Shall Pass" As I write this I want to go on another run today, perhaps at sunset, even though I ran this morning. This feeling is what makes me know that these temporary setbacks are just that, and Life in it's infinite beauty and cruelty will test anyone's resolve and make us stronger as we carry the experiences and pass them along to our children. It is my greatest hope that I can pass some knowledge onto my children to make their lives and the lives of others a little better. It is a work in progress of course and the renewal always helps me along the way. Thanx and Be Well.